2017.08.07 (2)

And it's getting clearer to me that I understand NOTHING. I understand that I don't understand.. It's all so foreign to me, although partly I'm GRATEFUL for that since that has also been very useful for my survival/thrival. Well, maybe sometimes truth is bitter but truly healing - it seems like falling some steps backward, but it's actually going from negative range to zero before going to the positive range, if you know what I mean. Now that I know (at least one of) the root cause, I can start healing.
And actually I've felt like I've sensed a key to breach that "big nothing" so the bitterness of the truth is somewhat already covered/healed too..