2017.10.13 (1)

Wishing the one in the radio named **** was him and actually talking about me.. with that rather close in location (despite the radio frequency based in other city!).. but what then? Even if it's true there are so many so much inhibitions right now, seemingly impossible knots everywhere .. and my other ocean wanting a different person entirely.. also my other oceans and each has their own obsession.. not to mention my fierce werewolves (although I'm wholeheartedly grateful for their existence)..

Still, it would be great if it's truly him out there..

2017.09.12 (4)

_{And I still don't dare to google him.}

See? Real life is much scarier down to the subtlest & seemingly most 'trivial'. That's why I'm a survivalist.

2017.09.12 (1)

Don't care if my heart is still broken to pieces or my mind is overwhelmed by that particular puzzle I'm still tremendously grateful for my eyes.
  
I'm determined to enjoy every single gift I've already got with this privilege, all the bliss I can get with this amazingly given-for-free treasure by creating arts to the best I can.. and watching mystery/horror movies, hehe.. 

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_{Besides, judging from my RENAISSANCE, heart broken to smithereens is actually not that bad. Because with the RIGHT context, the point of zero is actually the gate to everything. I'd just trust the dawn..} 

2017.09.11 (5)

_{yet.. if I have to leave.. that smaller shell.. for the bigger one.. in fact.. it's.. to.. fulfill.. that smaller shell's wishes come true.. truly come true.. for real.. no exception no 'but' NO BETRAYAL.. then... well.....}



*
But this has NOTHING to do with everything I GENUINELY HATE!!

2017.08.07 (2)

And it's getting clearer to me that I understand NOTHING. I understand that I don't understand.. It's all so foreign to me, although partly I'm GRATEFUL for that since that has also been very useful for my survival/thrival. Well, maybe sometimes truth is bitter but truly healing - it seems like falling some steps backward, but it's actually going from negative range to zero before going to the positive range, if you know what I mean. Now that I know (at least one of) the root cause, I can start healing.
And actually I've felt like I've sensed a key to breach that "big nothing" so the bitterness of the truth is somewhat already covered/healed too.. 

2017.08.07 (1)

I see.....
BECAUSE I am a Philosopher.

2017.08.03 (2)

And no matter how much I'm overwhelmed hurt now by the deep confusion of Puzzle N^o 2, at least I'm doing very well in my other life aspects - still grateful for being me.